Posted on the Squeetus Blog February 02, 2006 01:40 PM PST.
Slogging. That's what I'm doing. I remember loving this book last I worked on it, a few months ago, then I put it on hold to work on rapunzel's revenge and finish up river secrets, and now I return and find it's a hunk of hud. Sure, sure, I know I feel this way at some point with every book, usually at a few dozen points, but it always feels so real. This time it really seems like this book is no good.
Okay, my husband is sure to be rolling his eyes now, and darn him, his article in the newsletter was prophetic. When I'm being reasonable, I know it's only the first draft, and I'll get through it and I'll rework it, and having gone through this process so many times I have the faith that in the end I'll be able to beat it into shape and be happy with it. But for right now--ug. It is so hard to force myself to write my daily goal, put down 1000 words every day, when each word feels leaden and flat. Is this the pressure from the Newbery Honor I'm feeling? The whole "I'll never measure up" phenomenon? I don't think so. Maybe, but I think it's just part of the creative process. If there wasn't a time when I hated it and thought I was a miserable writer, how could I ever hold my head up?
In good news, I found an agent for my adult book, ostensibly jane! She's shopping it around now and I anticipate many rejections, but hopefully we'll find that book's soulmate editor eventually.
A while back I added a page to the mincemeat: on writing section, What I wish I'd known. Also, don't forget your book reviews and Reading Teacher Award nominations for the next issue of The Squeeter Pig. (click here if you'd like to add your email address to the mailing list)